At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Quick, to the slutcave!
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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