That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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