The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
