Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
