my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
