Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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