Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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