You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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