That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
