is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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