Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
you inspire me to be a worse person
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
