Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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