; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Randomize
