The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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