he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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