last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
