I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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