are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
