playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
