Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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