there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
