I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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