Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
