I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
