wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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