what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
