If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
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You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
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Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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