hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
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