I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Randomize
