Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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