I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Randomize
