I feel great
I just peed on a car
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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