About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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