I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
