I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
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