Betty ford says i'm here all night
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
