I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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