Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Still dying that you shit outside
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
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