You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Sacagawea was the original milf.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
