he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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