and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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