I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
