When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize