She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
