Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize
