Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
