Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
operation have a gay friend backfired
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
