I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
