so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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