Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
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My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
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I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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