so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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