In the future we'll all be gay
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
