Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Randomize
