If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
