CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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