the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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