haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Randomize
