Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
