The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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