I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
she was so not down for the gang bang
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
be right there i have to get my cape
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize