Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Randomize
