so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Actions speak louder than pants.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
