Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
