either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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