Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize
