He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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