Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
