Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
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