Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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